Lessons

When i was 7, i learnt to not place my faith in people. That home can be anywhere really, it doesn't matter much; the world's a mobias strip of bland repetitions. Eventually, its the ones closest to you who'll leave you broken beyond repair anyways. 

When i got older, i developed a shell. A mask. A facade. Unintentional, of course. I blame it on the people who assume me to be something just because i looked the part, without bothering to get to know me better. I thought "Those who don't bother knowing me are those who're not worth my time anyway". 

But then later, i realised, i was the one who never bothered to set the rumours straight. 

At 14 I learnt that some teachers don't deserve the title. And that if you're good at something you should never do it for free.

At 14 I learnt what it felt like to have your hard work taken away from you and stamped by someone else's name for them to parade around.

I went to boarding school at 16; much to everyone's protests. 

Why'd you leave a place where u've worked to build your reputation, just to start from square one, where everything and everyone might and will be against you? Why throw away all your years worth of efforts? 

Little do they know, i am most scared of comfort. Nothing grows there. 

At 16 i learnt what it felt like to be utterly, despairingly homesick. 

At 16 i learnt that people may not be worth your time, but make time regardless. 

It's your time that might be limited. 

At 16 i learnt that people might not be worth your trust, but you are worth your trust. So trust that in whatever situation you're faced with, whatever adversity, whatever betrayal, trust that you are strong enough to wade through it. 

At 20 i learnt that i'm bad at keeping in  touch. And i should try harder.

That leaving the nest is not necessarily an easy thing to do, but necessary. 

At 20 i kinda regretted all the bridges i've let to rust while i was busy chasing my dreams. 

At 20 i found out that dreams are like the phoenix. When one bursts into flames another will rise from the ashes. 

At 20 i'm just happy to continuously be learning. To be breathing. 

I realised, we can only go so far before we feel the tug of the earthly shackles that binds us to our origin. 

And, personally, those old memories of laughing off worries over textbooks on dusty school corridors now are worth so much more than these metallic wings soaring amongst the clouds, carrying us to the land of the Queen, or those slippery pavements unlike those I've been so used to. 

Now, i find myself cruising through old books, revisiting old bridges. 

Its not easy, people drifted away, but I guess I owe it to them to make the extra effort to catch up. 

At the end of the day, we all just want a place where we belong. 

Photo by NordWood Themes on Unsplash

And home, now, is where all those special people are.